I think Mark believes he made the right decision in ending our marriage. He probably tells himself that we were incompatible, that we fought too much, and that it was the best way to move forward. But the real question is: Given his porn addiction and emotional unavailability, did he actually make the right decision?  

The short answer? Yes.  

Mark Was Never Going to Change

Mark has a deeply ingrained pattern of emotional avoidance. He keeps people at arm’s length, avoids difficult conversations, and refuses to engage in true vulnerability. He also has a long-standing porn addiction that he was never willing to confront. It wasn’t just the porn itself—it was everything that came with it: the secrecy, the dishonesty, the emotional distance, and his inability to fully engage in an intimate, loving relationship.  

The only way our marriage could have worked was if he was willing to acknowledge and work on these issues. And he wasn’t. In fact, when faced with the choice of doing the hard work to heal our relationship or walking away, he chose to walk away. That tells me everything I need to know.  

The Easier Path  

The reality is, Mark chose the path of least resistance. Confronting his emotional walls and his addiction would have required real effort— therapy, self-reflection, change. Instead, he opted for a life where he doesn’t have to do any of that. A life where he can keep his emotional shields up, indulge in his old habits, and avoid the discomfort of true emotional intimacy.  

Yes, he may have moments where he misses me. He may even recognize that I was someone who truly loved him and wanted something real with him. But at the end of the day, Mark doesn’t want to do the hard work of building a deep, fulfilling relationship.  

His Decision Was a Gift to Me  

At first, it hurt. It felt like rejection. But now I see it for what it is: Mark’s decision to leave was actually the best thing that could have happened to me. If he had stayed, nothing would have changed. I would have spent years trying to get love and connection from someone who was fundamentally unwilling or incapable of giving it.  

Now, I am free. Free to find a partner who is emotionally available. Free to build a life with someone who isn’t shackled by addiction and avoidance. Free to live without constantly questioning why my husband won’t open up to me.  

So, did Mark make the right decision? Absolutely.  

And I made the right decision in letting him go.