There was a time in my life—not long ago—when love felt like something I needed in order to breathe.

I didn’t just want a relationship. I ached for one. I thought being partnered meant I was worthy, stable, complete. I measured my value by whether someone else saw it.

I wasn’t desperate for attention—I was desperate for security. I just didn’t know that what I was chasing in others was something I hadn’t yet built in myself.

But now, as I stand on the edge of my new life—bags half-packed, heart open but not aching—I can say something I never imagined saying:

I want to fall in love again.
But I don’t need to.

And that changes everything.

The Shift No One Talks About

Healing is often portrayed as a dramatic transformation—some cinematic moment where you throw a ring into the ocean or delete a phone number and suddenly become free.

But for me, healing came quietly.

It came in the space between overthinking and peace.
In the mornings I woke up not wondering who would text me.
In the moments I stopped rehearsing conversations I’d never have.
In the slow, calm realization that I wasn’t waiting for someone anymore.

Not to love me.
Not to rescue me.
Not to choose me.

Because I had already chosen myself.

I Used to Chase Love. Now I Choose It.

This is how I know I’ve healed:

I’m no longer looking for a man to complete a picture.
I’m building the picture—boldly, slowly, beautifully.
And if someone comes along and fits into it?
Wonderful.
But if not?

I am still whole.

I Want a Partner, Not a Project

I don’t want a man to fix.
I don’t want a man who needs me to carry his vision, his emotions, or his potential.

I want someone who has done his own work— who has sat in the dark and made peace with his own shadows. Someone who doesn’t see my independence as a threat, but as a mirror of his own strength. A man who wants to build with me, not ride along beside me.

This Kind of Love Is Rare—And That’s Okay

I know now: the kind of love I’m looking for is rare. And I’m willing to wait for it.

Because I would rather walk this road alone—surrounded by freedom, adventure, purpose, and peace— than tether myself again to someone who only wants my light but not my fire.

Final Thoughts

I don’t need a partner to validate my life.
I don’t need love to prove I’m worthy.

But when love comes—because I believe it will—
It will feel like this journey: intentional, expansive, brave.

Not because I needed it to be.
But because I chose it.

And that’s the most powerful love of all.