There was a time when I would have done anything for love.

Bent.

Shrank.

Overgave.

Held my breath through red flags and called it devotion.

I didn’t know it at the time, but I wasn’t choosing love—I was choosing survival.

I was choosing connection at any cost, even when the cost was myself.

But healing changes everything.

Healing strips away the illusions.

It holds up a mirror to all the places you settled and called it intimacy.

It asks harder questions:

• Does this feel safe?

• Is this love growing me or draining me?

• Am I seen—or just tolerated?

• Am I building—or am I carrying the whole thing?

And when you answer those questions honestly,

you realize:

The kind of love you’re willing to accept—and wait for—completely transforms.

I Used to Chase Love That Was Barely Enough

I wanted peace so badly, I mistook passivity for partnership.

I wanted warmth so badly, I mistook sporadic attention for real intimacy.

I wanted stability so badly, I mistook emotional absence for safety.

And when I found men who offered just enough to feel hopeful—but not enough to build something real—

I stayed.

Because it felt better than nothing.

Healing Taught Me I Don’t Want “Better Than Nothing”

I want real.

Whole.

Peaceful and electric at the same time.

I don’t want love that’s afraid to grow.

I don’t want a man who needs to be convinced.

I don’t want to be the emotional architect while he stands back and calls it “support.”

I don’t want to drag a relationship into existence.

I want love that meets me where I am now:

• Grounded

• Whole

• Radiant without needing to be rescued

Now, I’m Willing to Wait for a Different Kind of Man

A man who builds, not borrows.

A man who knows how to love children, not just tolerate them.

A man who sees adventure and family as intertwined, not competing.

A man who knows how to stay, grow, create, and choose—over and over.

A man who doesn’t need me to validate him, save him, or fix him.

A man who has already built his own house—and wants to build something even greater together.

Healing Changed My Timeline, Too

I don’t feel urgent.

I don’t feel lacking.

I don’t feel desperate.

I feel ready—and willing to wait.

Because now I know:

Peace is the new chemistry.

Presence is the new passion.

Consistency is the new excitement.

And a love like that?

It’s worth every minute of waiting.

Final Thought

Healing didn’t just make me stronger.

It made me clearer.

It taught me that real love doesn’t need to be chased, forced, or pieced together from scraps.

It shows up whole.

It grows steadily.

It feels like peace, not chaos.

And when it arrives, I won’t lose myself trying to hold on to it.

I’ll recognize it.

I’ll meet it with the same grounded, steady heart I spent years learning to build.

Because real love doesn’t complete me.

It joins me.

And that difference changes everything.