There’s a curious feeling that comes after deep heartbreak—one day, you find yourself alone, yet strangely content, even peaceful. You might pause and wonder: “Am I avoiding something? Shouldn’t I still be grieving?”

I recently found myself reflecting on these exact questions. After navigating a very painful breakup—the hardest I’ve ever experienced—I began planning an adventure through Latin America, simplifying my lifestyle dramatically, and prioritizing peace and family time above everything else.

Unexpectedly, I’ve discovered genuine joy and contentment in being alone. Initially, I wondered if this was emotional avoidance, the classic scenario of shutting down to shield myself from pain. But upon deeper reflection, I’ve realized it’s precisely the opposite.

Feeling happy in solitude can indicate you’ve genuinely processed the pain. You’ve consciously faced the difficult emotions, allowed yourself to fully experience them, and emerged with newfound clarity. True avoidance would mean running from the grief, never confronting it. Authentic healing, however, allows you to be comfortable—even joyful—being alone with yourself.

In fact, being at peace with solitude is a powerful sign of emotional growth. It means you’ve learned to cultivate security, joy, and fulfillment from within. This emotional independence creates the foundation for healthier future relationships, free from fear-based attachments and dependency.

As I prepare to embark on my journey through Latin America with my kids, I feel an inner peace I’ve never known before. Rather than signaling avoidance, this peace tells me I’ve finally embraced my own worth, boundaries, and emotional freedom. I’m no longer chasing validation or fearing loneliness—I’m genuinely at peace.

So, if you find yourself experiencing something similar, pause and celebrate. Healthy solitude is a milestone worth acknowledging. It means you’ve done the difficult emotional work, and now you’re ready to build a future filled with healthy, intentional relationships—beginning with the most important one: your relationship with yourself.