Today was one of those days that leaves your heart tender and your emotions raw. My ex-husband, Mark, came by early in the morning to help finalize the sale of our vehicle to Carvana. What started as a practical, straightforward task unexpectedly turned into an emotionally charged day that revealed much more beneath the surface.

Mark arrived at 8:00 AM, and despite our divorce and upcoming move to Latin America, he stayed the entire day. While I took my two older boys to their soccer game, Mark spent the day at home with Lincoln. When we returned, we found ourselves spending time together—just like a family, just like old times. It felt natural, familiar, and deeply comforting, yet equally painful.

As Mark prepared to leave, he grew visibly emotional. He started to cry quietly, clearly trying to hide it. Then my son, Brayden, said something that struck deeply:

“I think Lincoln wants you to live with him every day because he likes you. I wish you could live with us every day.”

At this, Mark began crying harder, even as he tried to turn away and mask his emotions. When we hugged goodbye, I gently asked him if his sadness was solely because of Lincoln. He shook his head, unable or unwilling to speak further, only saying, “I can’t talk about it, I have to go.”

Witnessing Mark’s emotional vulnerability was incredibly impactful. It was a stark reminder of the genuine feelings he still carries. Yet it’s essential to remember something critical: emotional vulnerability in one poignant moment doesn’t automatically translate to emotional growth, change, or readiness for the deep and sustained intimacy required for a healthy relationship.

Mark’s tears were authentic—they reflected real grief, regret, and loss. They showed his sadness about losing our family life, the comfort and security of our home, and the daily interactions with the kids. But emotional authenticity in moments like these can coexist with deep-seated emotional avoidance and unwillingness to address core issues that ended the relationship.

If you’re navigating a similar experience, it’s crucial to recognize that emotional vulnerability during goodbyes or in moments of loss doesn’t always indicate meaningful readiness for reconciliation or lasting intimacy. A genuine emotional breakdown is touching and human, but sustainable emotional connection requires consistency, openness, honesty, and willingness to face difficult truths.

Mark’s reaction doesn’t change the fact that I deserve and need someone who is emotionally ready and capable of sustained intimacy, openness, and honesty. His sadness doesn’t diminish the necessity of moving forward with my life, nor does it mean I’ve made the wrong choice.

My journey forward to Latin America is about honoring myself and creating a life filled with authentic connections and emotional health. Moments like today remind me why clarity, boundaries, and self-respect matter, even when emotional goodbyes make my heart ache.

Compassion and empathy for someone you once loved deeply is natural and healthy. But remember, your emotional needs and boundaries remain paramount. True intimacy requires more than momentary vulnerability—it requires sustained, courageous openness and emotional accountability.

Keep choosing yourself. Keep honoring your emotional needs. And know that moments of vulnerability can coexist with the necessity of moving forward toward the love and life you genuinely deserve.