Today, I watched a few videos of a drummer named Emil Vergo.

I didn’t know him before.

I don’t know his story.

But the moment I saw him play—

something in me lit up.

It wasn’t about the music.

It wasn’t about the fame.

It wasn’t even about him, exactly.

It was the fire.

The unmistakable, magnetic force of someone doing what they love—

fully, fiercely, unapologetically.

And watching him made something in me click.

I don’t want a man who’s lukewarm about life.

I don’t want a man who coasts, who drifts, who exists quietly, passively, waiting for something to happen.

I don’t want someone who simply clocks in, clocks out, floats through conversations, and calls that a life.

I want a man with fire.

A man who burns for something.

Who throws himself into his passion—whether it’s music, building, teaching, creating, fatherhood, whatever it is.

I want a man whose eyes light up when he talks about what he loves.

Whose hands move faster when he’s in flow.

Whose presence makes a room feel alive without him needing to say a word.

Passion isn’t a luxury. It’s a requirement.

Because passion is how you love.

It’s how you build.

It’s how you stay when things get hard.

And I’ve lived enough quiet misery—enough muted relationships—

to know that I don’t just want peace anymore.

I want aliveness.

I want to wake up next to someone who is chasing something bigger than comfort.

Someone who knows what it means to give a damn.

Someone who shows up—fully.

I want a man who knows how to throw his heart at something.

Not carelessly.

Not recklessly.

But bravely.

I want a man whose life has a pulse.

A rhythm.

A beat he’s not afraid to follow.

I want to watch him work, to hear him talk about his dreams, and feel that unmistakable thrill:

“This man is building a life. Not waiting for one to happen to him.”

Final Thought:

I don’t need a man to complete me.

I don’t need a man to rescue me.

But when I love again—

it will be a man with fire in his chest,

conviction in his hands,

and purpose in his soul.

Because that’s the only kind of love that will match the woman I’ve become.

And I won’t settle for anything less.

Not now.

Not ever again.